Today began crappy enough...freezing my ass off, listening to my kids complain becuase they have nothing to wear, and are cold, and tired. And how I should get a real job, and everything is my fault, and they hate it here. I snapped. And I said did you ever think maybe I hate it here to? Listening to you two whine and complain and gripe about everything and everything I do?
My daughter's room is a friggin pig sty. It always is. I don't know how to get her to clean it anymore. I have tried EVERYTHING. I have no idea why she is such a pig...my house is always fairly clean, and her dad is not a pig, at least not in the sense of cleaning.
Dylan has a mouth on him a mile wide and just as loud. His language is awful, and I don't mean just swear words...I mean in how he refers to people. He sounds just like his dad, but he barely spends time with the guy. And I can't beat him everytime he opens his mouth.
I am tired of it...I am frustrated, and out of ideas. I suck at being a parent. I totally suck. And I am tired of fighting this alone...I used to think having my kids with me meant they would at least be raised with better values. But they have picked up all their dads' values and ways anyhow. So what difference does it make anymore? All I hear is how I am so terrrible, and how they want to live with their dads'.
I don't seem to be having any major effects on them. I don't even know why I bother anymore. -_-