GENENINAH - because becky can't spell (mrshannibal) wrote in dep_parents,
GENENINAH - because becky can't spell

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she broke down

i cannot see the keys for the tears
leaving streaks down my face
my eyes frantically blink them away
and yet they continue
i want to let go
but the horrible habit of hiding continues
my eyelashes cling together
i close my eyes and see the darkness again
even a hint of light is not to be found
the tears continue
i make no sound
i feel so unworthy of them
the numbness begins to creep up into me
another familiar feeling
i welcome anything that distracts me from myself
wrapped up in a cocoon of complete sorrow
i don't know where to go and what to do
what i want to do is self destruct
and yet i feel that is happening slowly from within
the tears stop and go
i breathe deeply and feel them build again
the feeling of not being here
of not feeling whole is horrible
looking up and away from myself
i am scared
i cannot control this
it controls me
the pills don't work
where do i begin and where does this end
emotions cover me like a tidal wave
and i have no place to hide
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